Okay, so maybe it was more like 2:45am. But “Midnight Dreamer” sounds so much better than “2:45 in the morning Dreamer”. Just roll with it.

Anyways. The scene: It is April 17, 2007, and Tom is asleep in his dorm room, cell phone alarm going off to check a 2am sugar. Alarm has been going off for about 45 minutes. Roomy comes in waking Tom up. Let the scene commence.

I realize that I need to check my sugar, and check it: 529mg/dL. I think about that number. Sort of say to myself “Well hey. That’s cool. That’s a really big number.” I do a second test, 5…4…3…never see the 2. Or the 1. Or the result.

I wake up around 8am the next day,vaguely remember the 529, and sort of flip out. My meter is under me, and something is stabbing me in the chest… yup, that’d be the test strip still sticking out of the meter. Hmmm…. wonder what that second result was… Oh snap. It was 98mg/dL. Sounds pretty good to me. Wonder why it was so high the first reading. Curiosities galore.

My nights have been interesting lately. First this, then last night’s pizza fiasco… and before I went to sleep last night, between the worried thoughts, I had this random thought that if I just stopped wearing the pump, and stopped checking my sugar, it would all just go away. Like it was all in my head and if I stopped worrying about it, it would stop bothering me. Sort of like a middle school bully; if you stop being scared of them and stand up to them, they’ll stop bugging you.

I know this is completely untrue in reality, but like Amy over at Diabetes Mine wrote in her post today, the whole thing still shocks me sometimes. Being diagnosed three months before my seventeenth birthday, I can actually remember what life was like before the D. I remember the days where I could drink Hawaiian Punch and not have to worry about the fact that I just consumed a bazillion sugar carbs that will shoot through my bloodstream like torpedoes fast approaching their target. I remember not having to think about whether or not I took my Lantus back while I was on MDIs, or when the last time I changed my site was nowadays. I remember it all, back in the days of candy canes and gumdrops. I have adapted to this new lifestyle of higher math skills and memory strenuous activities, but every once in a while it is nice to reminisce and take a nice trip down memory lane.

Well anyways, after my slight high this morning I ripped my site and took my morning shower, the first site-free shower I’ve had in a while. It was such a nice shower. haha Also, thanks to Kevin over at parenthetic (diabetic) gave me his patented logbook spreadsheet earlier this week, and I am truly amazed. I never truly thought of how helpful logging could be until I started keeping track of my intake of carbs and insulin and the results. His logbook has really helped me out this past week, showing me the overall trends and things that need to be adjusted. He truly is a logging God.

Speaking of God, religion has always been one thing that I have not been so interested in. I mean, the idea of it, and all the different variations of different religions has always interested me, and I have quite a number of books on various religions, but I have never been able to fully accept the idea of religion. My biggest reservation is putting my faith in something that is not tangible or scientifically proven. But if you think about it, diabetes and the different treatments are sort of like that. You put faith in your body and the insulin you give to it, and you have faith that your cells are going to know what to do and how to react to certain things.

If I can live my life putting my faith into a little plastic box on my belt, why can’t I put my faith into a higher being of some sort? Part of me thinks that the entire coping process I went through when I was diagnosed would have been a lot easier if I had had a stronger religious background. But hey, who knows? There’s no way to find out now, because what is done is done. We shall never truly know.

Well it is time to go talk to my landlord for next year. Wish me luck. :-)

Until next time,
Tom.